PAX: Tickle, Trojan, SouthernBelle, 2C, Bengay, Jugz
YHC was pleased to see five other pax at the #Mothership this early morn for what was intended to be one thing and then turned into something totally different. More on that later.
Conditions were cold enough for Bengay to rock some long sleeves (just a long sleeve t-shirt, so everyone stay calm), though he did admit that he was feeling a little under the weather. There was likely little disguise on my face when I checked the temp. Low 40s. We all know Bengay doesn’t normally put on long sleeves until it is much, much colder. But I digress.
YHC has thought an awful lot about dusting off and bringing out the 300 workout. Nothing like 300 merkins to get your motor going, right? Sprinkle that with some great manvotional material regarding marriage and the film “300” and you have a recipe for a winner! We executed the first round of the workout and, for some unknown reason, I scrapped everything.
Merkins x 25 OYO, Flutterkicks x 20 IC, Burpees x 12 OYO, LBCs x 20 IC
Sitting here in the same spot doing the same four movements over and over again just doesn’t feel right. OK then what? We’ve gotta move. Move where? Let’s just get to the pull-up bars and figure it out. Wherever we go, we need to really smash the core and it needs to really hard. I have just the thing for that. . .
Fast mosey to the original flag planting location. Partner up, I said. Partner Cindy. Cindy is 5 pullups, 10 pushups, 15 squats. . .as a 30 minute EMOM. #AintNoOneGotTimeForThat Partner 1 does a round while Partner 2 does max effort V-Ups. Flapjack. Rinse and Repeat x 3.
That is a great start to getting into the core! Let’s just run fast until we get too spread out and we will stop. *Panting heavily* OK, we have run really fast for at least 10 meters and I’m dying. Just keep going, fruitcake. You will pass out before you die and these dudes behind you are expecting something from the shine box. Don’t die. Don’t die. Don’t d–. Don’t pass out. Don’t pass out. Dammit man! Who moved the swing sets so far away? And whyyyyyyyy? Oh man, I may really die. Whew! 25 meters in the books! Almost there…
We pulled up at the swingset by the hill and got right to work. Partner 1 does max effort swerkins (feet in the swing, do a merkin, then pull the knees to the elbows, that’s one) while Partner 2 runs up the hill, does 10 squats, and runs back down.
How many of these should we do? Man, swerkins are really hard. Well, can’t back out now. I’ve already told the pax we were doing them.
“Accumulate 300.” What the (@*(Q*&!(!(#(@&!&(! did I just say?!?!?! Well, can’t back out now…
“Look, guys. This is going to be really hard. It is going to suck. Embrace the challenge and embrace the suck. The more we embrace it the better off we will be.” I bet you didn’t plan on lying THAT much before 0600!
Time called when one group finally – mercifully – reached 100 of the dastardly swerkins. Whoever came up with those is a real a-hole. No, seriously.
Indian run over to the gazebo. Wrong turn, Indian run quit happening. Poor leadership all the way around. Screw it. Let’s run a little further until we get this thing sorted out. When we arrived at the gazebo, we took a minute to talk about the workout being our laboratory where we get to experiment on leadership and how we deal with others so we can carry that into our day. It’s our version of making the bed (since the Ms are usually still in the bed when we get up). Attention to detail matters. We get out what we put into it.
30-20-10 box jumps and decline merkins.
Jugz, you are a real idiot. This SUCKS! This is why you should not Q. You just say stupid stuff and for some reason these dudes just do it. But they know you’re a damn fool for calling the declines after all the other core crushing crap we have done. You keep this up and you may just get one of those Darwin Awards after all!
Another kinda sorta fast mosey back to the flag where we did some other stuff. I wish I could remember what we did at the flag, but it is forever lost to the brain cells killed during my Cliff Clavin Buffalo Beer Brain Theory days. The Cliff Clavin Buffalo Brain Theory essentially states that a herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. Look, I have never claimed to be really smart. It is what it is.
After we counted and named ourselves, we talked a little about Hosea and Gomer. Life is hard. Marriage is hard. God told Hosea to go marry a prostitute. So, he did. And they had a child. Just when things appeared to be perfect, Gomer ran off with another man. And another. And another. Each time, God tells Hosea to go get his wife. His wife has not one, but TWO children with other men before she finally leaves Hosea for good. But God is not finished yet. Oh no. He tells Hosea to get her again. Not only does he have to get her, he finds her as a slave where he then has to pay a butt ton of money to buy back the wife who can’t even spell fidelity and had children with other men while married. He paid money to get her back. Let me rephrase that. He paid the price to get his wandering wife back. We are continually called the Bride of Christ. Chew on that for a minute.
A lot of folks have read through Hosea and saw God’s picture of his pursuit of Israel, who continually submitted themselves to idolatry. But let’s just glance at the surface. Hosea has to go get his wife over and over again. He pursues her relentlessly. If our marriages also represent Christ and the Church, then, men, we have a tall order. And I don’t say that easily or mean it to be obtuse. We have to pursue our wives with that radical fervor. That is just not easy because she, too, is a fallen creature. We can’t afford to let anything have even a sliver of a toehold on us. Toehold yields foothold yields stronghold. Let’s stand fast. The only way to do that is to continue to pour into each other as men so that we can be the men we need to be. If we can’t hit the center of the #Concentrica, then none of the other parts matter, really.
Thanks for sharing the gloom with me this morning, gents. It was, as always, a pleasure.
Aye!