Dearest Past, Present, and Future Furians:
The time has come to define the true nature of a Furian and declare victory over mental and physical anguish. Elite Furians persevere.
The time has come to assess the Furian’s abilities and test willpower with adversity. Elite Furians compete.
The time has come to unite Furians through a series of arduous tasks so that we may shout in one Furious voice WE ARE ELITE. Elite Furians are unified.
WHAT IS ELITE FURIAN 2021?
Elite Furian will be a four-part competition held on Fury Saturday workouts that incorporates different exercise elements to challenge participants and promote friendly competition. At the end of the series, one PAX will be crowned Elite Furian 2021 and presented with indefinite bragging rights. Elite Furians embrace change.
WHO IS ELIGIBLE TO COMPETE FOR ELITE FURIAN?
Any active PAX across the F3 Nation or brave FNG is welcome to run the Elite Furian competition workouts. The first Saturday will be a qualification round – anyone that completes the prescribed work within the prescribed time will move on to the next round. Each round will eliminate competitors and a victor will emerge after the final round. If you are eliminated during any round, you are welcome (and encouraged) to come back and participate in the Elite workouts any or all subsequent Saturdays, but you would not be considered an “official competitor” vying for the title. We may even create tandem workouts alongside the competitors that anyone can join, too. Elite Furians are inclusive.
HOW ARE THE CONTESTANTS JUDGED?
Elite Furian will operate primarily on the honor system, but all of the work must be completed on the course created with the tools provided at the time declared. Meaning, if you are an official competitor, you must show up to Fury on the Saturday of the Elite workout and run the work with the other official competitors. If you are an official competitor and cannot make a workout, you will be eliminated from official status and lose your chance to claim the Elite title. But again, you’re welcome (and encouraged) to come back and workout with the other Furians. There will be no official judges calling mis-reps, but there will be plenty of peer Furians on hand to smack-talk and public-shame anyone brave enough to cut corners. Elite Furians don’t cheat.
WHAT KIND OF WORKOUT CAN I EXPECT?
The workouts are designed to be challenging but certainly not impossible. Work will be unapologetically derivative of other mainstream competitions and utilize unconventional objects such as filled buckets, tires, and coupons. This will be an opportune time to train for other obstacle races. Official competitors will work against the clock and tally rounds or reps to determine Elite status. Elite Furians adapt.
WHEN ARE THE ELITE WORKOUTS?
F3 Greenwood rotates AOs for Saturday bootcamps, so Elite workouts will be held on the 2nd Saturday of each month for four months. Starting in February with the qualification round and crowning a victor in May. Workouts begin promptly at 0600 (after the obligatory disclaimer, explanation of work, needed demonstrations, and mumblechatter shutdown). Saturday workouts are as follows, rain or shine:
February 2/13 – Qualification Round
March 3/13 – Round One Elimination
April 4/10 – Round Two Elimination
May 5/8 – Final Round Championship
Elite Furians are timely.
HOW MUCH DOES THE ELITE COMPETITION COST?
In true F3 fashion, workouts are absolutely free. Unlike the aforementioned mainstream competitions that plagiarize their name from Greek mythology and bootleg their philosophy from a Frank Miller graphic novel, Fury will not rob you of hundreds of dollars. Elite Furians pay up in blood, sweat, and tears.
WHAT OTHER AWESOME THINGS ARE HAPPENING WITH THIS EVENT?
To promote 2nd F, there will be a Furious potluck breakfast held immediately after the workout. Everyone is encouraged to bring a dish to share and families are welcome (and encouraged) to attend. Come for the workout, stay for Uncle Jessie’s Wurl-Famous-Totally-Not-Out-of-A-Can Cinnamon Rolls. Elite Furians provide for others.
IS THERE GOING TO BE A T-SHIRT?
Most assuredly not. Elite Furians go shirtless.
WHAT IF SOMETHING CHANGES?
Some things may change. We are not professionals. This is not a professional competition. You are not paying money, so we will not have to refund anything. Especially in these uncertain times, things come up. We reserve the right to change or altogether cancel events with little notice as events unfold, but we will do everything in our power to make sure folks are notified in a timely manner. Elite Furians are understanding.
WHEN WILL THE PRESCRIBED WORKOUTS BE RELEASED?
Right now. Elite Furians are transparent. But please read “What if something changes?” again and know that this is not carved into stone.
QUALIFICATION ROUND – HIBACHI HILL
PAX must complete prescribed work within 45 minutes:
100 burpees / 1 mile Hibachi hill run
100 big boi sit ups / 1 mile Hibachi hill run
All PAX to complete within 45 minutes move on to round two.
ROUND TWO – LAKE FURY
As many laps as possible in 45 minutes (partial laps counted to determine eligibility for next round). One complete lap is as follows:
Farmer’s carry one coupon the entire circumference of Lake Fury. Return to origin, complete 10 man-makers, 25 coupon merkins (pushup on top of block), 50 flutter kicks (hard way) whilst holding coupon overhead.
Number of eligible competitors for next round contingent upon number of entrants. This number will be announced after the qualification round (that way we don’t assume 15 PAX move on to the next round if only 12 qualify). Hopefully in the 15-20 range.
ROUND THREE – FURY ROAD
As many laps as possible in 45 minutes (partial laps counted to determine eligibility for next round). One complete lap is as follows:
Bucket carry from bottom of Fury Road to last Merrywood entrance. Complete 10 burpees, 25 jungle boi squats (2Spoonz style), 50 gas-pumpers. Bucket carry back to origin at bottom of Fury Road.
Number of eligible competitors for the final round contingent upon the number of contestants from the first round. Hopefully in the 5-8 range.
FINAL ROUND – OBSTACLE COURSE
Since this will be the most elaborate workout and require some logistical coordination, exact prescribed work is TBD. Expect the course to cover 5-6 miles of varied terrain and include different stations of exercises and/or obstacles. Like we said, unapologetically derivative. First to complete the course will be crowned Elite Furian 2021. Expect this workout to last longer than previous runs, so 2ndF will probably be pushed back an hour to allow for completion. Again, anyone, regardless of competition status, is welcome (and encouraged) to run the course with the rest of the Furians. But only the official competitors that moved on from the previous round are competing for the title (meaning, if you beat a competitor on the obstacle course but you’re not an official competitor, we cannot in good faith name you Elite Furian).
Elite Furians are driven.
DO YOU HAVE ANY PARTING WORDS THAT WOULD SERVE AS A GOOD CONCLUSION?
Always….
This is a friendly competition. Good natured joking, trolling, and mumblechatter is expected (and encouraged), but the purpose of this competition is to build up our brotherhood and support levity. Anything outside of a lighthearted approach to this competition could be construed as bullying and is strictly denounced by all Furians. We will always take the road paved by our brothers @ironpax and assume that no one will knowingly deceive or demean any other participant.
Elite Furians never run their Furious mouth ‘cause Elite Furians don’t start fights.
Now get out and get after it.
With Love and Kindest Regards,
Inspector
#stillnotontwitter